A more honest attempt

To be completely honest, take one. I don't want to hide behind mask, fear, or insecurities. I know that deep down in me, there is a brokenness. It was caused from dishonesty, deceit, and manipulation. I have tried to cover it up, and bury it deep down inside of me, and I apologize for doing so. I apologize for the distant stares, I would give until words broke the barrier, and I came back to reality. I don't want to be dishonest, deceitful, or manipulative. I guess what I am trying to say is, I just want my heart to be known. Because, as I take one painfully beautiful step after another toward healing, I only want my actions and words to be of hope, redemption, meekness, compassion, truth, patience, and love. I know its not always easy to do, but it is the most beautiful. If I keep the deepest longings of my heart concealed, then recessive steps into brokenness becomes my path. I have been down that path, and I don't like it. Jesus shows me that it's okay to love without measure, even if the odds are, it's not reciprocal. It's not about what you get in return, but what you give. I have given it my all, and thats all I can ask for.